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all of the tragedies in the last few month have been quite a toll on me. There were moments where I truly believe I was depressed. Everytime I would speak to someone, I would start crying. I didn't have the energy to do my homework or go to class. Thankfully, the teacher's understood everything that was going on. They tried to exempt me from my assignments, but I have a strong work ethic and completed them anyway. This was interesting, because some offered me extra credit by doing so. They said I was conquering "life lessons" by working my brain during times of hardship. Three out of four professors are now in my networking contacts. I was so overcome with gratitude. What amazing people the world has to offer!
My life has been a steady flow for the last few weeks. The family is fighting with eachother, but they are all just stressed out. I try to remind everyone that we should stop arguing and love eachother. No one seems interested in listening, haha, but I'm sure they all understand what I'm trying to say deep down, because there are moments where they start to get upset, look at me, and then calm down. Dad is smoking and eating badly, and I keep scolding him. I hid all of the cigarettes in the house before I left back for school from Thanksgiving. He promised to be done by Christmas, though he also promised to be done by Thanksgiving and that did not happen. It's hard to trust him with things like that. Even the effective words, "Daddy.. I love you and I really don't want you to die" didn't work! Agh! What to do?
He will not be returning to work for another two months or so. Not until February, at least! He needs to keep moving and working himself so he can start helping to support us again. Right now, I have the most money in my whole family because I saved up over the summer and get loan returns for the excess money that I take out. Mom has been dipping into my bank account, which I don't approve of, but I understand that it is something that must be done sometimes. I know I will never be repaid for that, but... well, she supported me for 18 years. I think I can deal with it.
I miss working the winter at EG. It was my favorite time. Mostly because it was all about the aesthetics and I got to wear that ridiculous Elf costume whenever I wanted to. Much better than wearing the same pair of khakis every work day. Haha. Mixed it up a little.. even if we did have a few creepers.
I auditioned with a memorized monologue (taken from Defying Gravity, a play by Jane Anderson about the Challenger explosion) for the first time this semester. I was nervous at first, and messed up a little, but I stopped, apologized. Took a deep breath, turned around and nailed every line to my best ability! I was very excited about it! Even though I didn't get a part, it was a great experience.
Work N Progress has been a treat. A Capella has... not. That group is a great big let down. I need to find more things to be involved in for fun. Realling thinking of picking up Radio.
This is finals week. Studying all weekend! Please try not to distract me too much!! <3
ONE MORE WEEK.
My life has been a steady flow for the last few weeks. The family is fighting with eachother, but they are all just stressed out. I try to remind everyone that we should stop arguing and love eachother. No one seems interested in listening, haha, but I'm sure they all understand what I'm trying to say deep down, because there are moments where they start to get upset, look at me, and then calm down. Dad is smoking and eating badly, and I keep scolding him. I hid all of the cigarettes in the house before I left back for school from Thanksgiving. He promised to be done by Christmas, though he also promised to be done by Thanksgiving and that did not happen. It's hard to trust him with things like that. Even the effective words, "Daddy.. I love you and I really don't want you to die" didn't work! Agh! What to do?
He will not be returning to work for another two months or so. Not until February, at least! He needs to keep moving and working himself so he can start helping to support us again. Right now, I have the most money in my whole family because I saved up over the summer and get loan returns for the excess money that I take out. Mom has been dipping into my bank account, which I don't approve of, but I understand that it is something that must be done sometimes. I know I will never be repaid for that, but... well, she supported me for 18 years. I think I can deal with it.
I miss working the winter at EG. It was my favorite time. Mostly because it was all about the aesthetics and I got to wear that ridiculous Elf costume whenever I wanted to. Much better than wearing the same pair of khakis every work day. Haha. Mixed it up a little.. even if we did have a few creepers.
I auditioned with a memorized monologue (taken from Defying Gravity, a play by Jane Anderson about the Challenger explosion) for the first time this semester. I was nervous at first, and messed up a little, but I stopped, apologized. Took a deep breath, turned around and nailed every line to my best ability! I was very excited about it! Even though I didn't get a part, it was a great experience.
Work N Progress has been a treat. A Capella has... not. That group is a great big let down. I need to find more things to be involved in for fun. Realling thinking of picking up Radio.
This is finals week. Studying all weekend! Please try not to distract me too much!! <3
ONE MORE WEEK.
aggravated